How to be a Disability Ally
If you haven’t yet connected with the disability community, it’s highly likely you will at some point, either by acquiring a disability, becoming a caregiver for someone with a disability, or by becoming an associate i.e. friend, neighbor, or fellow church member of someone with a disability. Want to engage with the disability community before life throws you a curveball? Read this article to discover steps you can take to become a disability ally.
Practice equity and respect by treating individuals with disabilities as you would anyone else. There’s no need to raise your voice or speak to us as if we were children; engage directly with us rather than addressing our family, friends, or caregivers. If you think we need assistance, ask first. Don’t take offense if we decline; we know what we need best. When a person with a disability accepts your offer of help, inquire about their preferred method of assistance. For example, if someone who is blind or visually impaired asks for help crossing the street, ask how they would like to be guided instead of just taking their arm and leading them, which could be jarring or uncomfortable. Many individuals with disabilities navigate their daily lives independently, but there are times when we appreciate support from another person. Let us make those choices and maintain our independence while being treated with the same respect as anyone else.
Don’t make assumptions about the disability community, which is full of misconceptions and stereotypes regarding what individuals with disabilities can and cannot do. Often, we defy the expectations set by those outside our community. The recent 35th anniversary of the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA), celebrated last month, is a testament to our capabilities. Remember the old adage, “You can’t judge a book by its cover,” especially when it relates to disabilities. Some disabilities are visible, while many others are not. Regardless of whether someone is disabled or able-bodied, we are all people deserving of kindness. As the late comedian Robin Williams once said, “Be kind always, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.”
Educate yourself by taking time to learn about various disabilities and the rich history of our community, as well as the societal barriers we face. Gain a deeper understanding of accessibility and its importance. Numerous resources, including vlogs, articles, podcasts, and books created by community members, can assist you in this journey. If you find yourself struggling to learn more about disabilities, don’t hesitate to reach out to someone with a disability for questions. Most of the time, members of the disability community are more than willing to help. It’s crucial to remember that educating others about disabilities shouldn’t rest solely on individuals with disabilities; allies should balance research with outreach.
Listen to us, as the voices of people with disabilities are often overlooked, despite the progress society has made toward inclusion. This can lead to feelings of being ignored or misunderstood. By taking the time to listen to us, allies provide a platform for our voices. During conversations, allow us to finish speaking without interrupting. Never speak for us or over us; we live with our disabilities daily and are best positioned to share our experiences. Listening with compassion rather than judgment is vital. Avoid unnecessary comparisons: for instance, temporarily using a wheelchair due to a broken leg doesn’t equate to the experience of someone who uses a wheelchair every day after an amputation. A supportive, understanding, and empathetic ear can mean more than you might realize.
Embrace teachable moments, especially with children who often display natural curiosity. For example, when they see someone in a wheelchair, they may wonder what’s wrong. Instead of dismissing their questions or telling them not to stare, embrace these moments as teaching opportunities. Explain that there is nothing wrong with the person; they simply use a wheelchair for mobility. Encourage children to introduce themselves and politely inquire about the wheelchair user’s experience. Most people with disabilities appreciate being asked rather than stared at. Exposing children to disabilities through teachable moments can normalize unique differences. Remember to approach these discussions in a manner appropriate for the child’s age.
Be conscious with communication, engaging with individuals with disabilities as you would with anyone else. Maintain eye contact and use a normal tone of voice. Regardless of ability, no one wants to be treated like a child or patronized. Many individuals prefer person-first language (e.g., “person with a disability” rather than “disabled person”), but not everyone shares that preference. Respect individuals’ requests for how they wish to be identified. While outdated terms like “wheelchair bound” or “cripple” are generally considered taboo, don’t shy away from using the word “disabled” if appropriate. If unsure about specific terminology, ask a member of the disability community for guidance. Avoid labels that overly emphasize one aspect of a person’s life, making disability the primary characteristic. Many individuals with disabilities dislike being pitied; phrases like “It must be so hard being blind” can be off-putting. Likewise, avoid placing individuals on pedestals for simply living their lives, as in, “It’s inspiring that you can work every day with your disability. You’re my hero.” Just like everyone else, members of the disability community have strengths and weaknesses and wish to be recognized as equal members of society.
There are numerous more ways to be a disability ally. Ultimately, allyship involves living your life in a manner that promotes equity for all. Do you have questions about being a disability ally? Would you like to learn more about how you can support the disability community? Reach out to the Access Center for Independent Living at 937-341-5202 or [email protected].